God's Conditional Love

Tree of life: 

"God's love is not unconditional," Brother Bowcut announced in Sacrament Meeting. And we all perked up at this interesting bit of blasphemy.

"What I mean by that," he continued, "Is that many people get into a funk and assume God's love will come and find them and fix things for them. 'If God loved me, He would fix this," they assume. And then God doesn't fix it, and they conclude that God doesn't love them.

Not true!

In Lehi's dream, what is the symbol of God's love? It's a tree. Now, why did God pick a tree instead of a cart of fruit? Or why wasn't it a cloud,which floated towards you, bringing the sweet nourishing rain of God's love?

Brother Bowcut suggested that it's because trees are stationary. If you want God's love, you had better go and get it!

So often, I just go on sinning and making mistakes and waiting for God to rescue me. I assume that just because I'm angry, upset, or lonely, the automatic ubiquitous love dispenser will kick in, and God will come and make everything all better.

When I wait for God's love to come to me, I usually wait for a very long time. It's when I go to God that I find comfort, healing, strength, and peace. Feeling God's love is conditional on our agency, Brothers and Sisters!! 

Now that's not to say that God never reaches out to people. There are Saul---> Paul moments, and Alma-the-Punk----> Alma-the-Younger stories. But by and large, we feel God's love when we go to him. 

And the nice thing about trees? They will never run away from you as you approach. They will never retract their branches, or ward you off with their roots. They wait patiently and offer freely for all of God's children, and pay no mind to the state of the person partaking of the fruit. Trees will not chase you, but they will never abandon you. And neither will God.

Justifying

One of my biggest habits is justifying bad behavior. My justification comes in two varieties.

1. Variety Number One: "Oh, it's not really a sin." 

"It's not really that bad to play video games for seven hours!"
"It's not really against the commandments to overeat!"
"It's not really a sin to ____________."

Variety Number One Justification occurs when you do something you aren't proud of. It's not something Jesus would do, but it's not necessarily a hallmark of devilry either. And so we spray paint it.

My seminary teacher used to use an analogy with rotten bananas. "Even if you spray paint them yellow," he would say, "they'll still make you sick."

This reminds me of this great quote from the talk Why Am I Running? 

We cannot sow the seeds of slothfulness and poor effort and expect to receive the blessings of dedication and diligent effort. Each day of our life, through the choices we make, we determine whether we will augment the building of our eternal dwelling with Heavenly Father or whether we will slide along a path which deprives us of eternal blessings. 

The truth is, if you know better, it's a sin. Every time you surrender to the natural man and do the easier wrong instead of the harder right, you distance yourself from the Father.

2. Variety Number Two: "Oh, well I was _________." 

This can occur for smaller categories of transgressions when you do something you're really not proud of. But it is also handy when you do something positively bad. There's no way to paint the banana yellow, so you search for extenuating circumstances.

"Oh, well I was tired."
"I was hungry."
"I was half-asleep."
"It was a long day. I can't be expected to __________ after I just _____________."

Call 'em out, Samuel.

“And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free."
~~Helaman 14:30 

There IS no excuse for sin! Jesus was tired! Jesus was hungry! Jesus had long days! And yet he never submitted to sin.

Repentance: 

We justify in order to procrastinate repentance. Repentance is like ripping off a dirty bandage. It hurts. Rip, Ouch! But then it's off. However, if you leave it there because "I'm sure it's not too infected," or "It's just a little wound!" or "After all, it's not like I'm going to die of gangrene or something!" then it will fester right up until you have to amputate your arm.

It hurts to rip the bandage off. It hurts to change. But it hurts far less than the consequences.

The Lord has been so good to me. I can't even express. He has waited and waited for me to repent of my sins, patient for the time when I come humbly to repent. I'm going to go repent right now.

What can I live for?

You know why some people live for entertainment? Because it's entertaining. It's fun.

So, if we ought not to live for entertainment (Overwatch, I'm looking at you... I'll admit, that 7 hours was some of the most fun of my life) then what should I live for?

That's the point of my study today. What can I get excited about?

How can I get excited about life?

From Reflections on a Consecrated Life. 

“Life offers you two precious gifts—one is time, the other freedom of choice, the freedom to buy with your time what you will. You are free to exchange your allotment of time for thrills. You may trade it for base desires. You may invest it in greed. …Yours is the freedom to choose. But these are no bargains, for in them you find no lasting satisfaction." 

Every day, every hour, every minute of your span of mortal years must sometime be accounted for. And it is in this life that you walk by faith and prove yourself able to choose good over evil, right over wrong, enduring happiness over mere amusement. And your eternal reward will be according to your choosing. 

A prophet of God has said: ‘Men are that they might have joy’—a joy that includes a fullness of life, a life dedicated to service, to love and harmony in the home, and the fruits of honest toil—an acceptance of the Gospel of Jesus Christ—of its requirements and commandments. 

Only in these will you find true happiness, the happiness which doesn’t fade with the lights and the music and the crowds.”

What wages does the gospel offer in return for our willing obedience?

Men are that they might have joy. 
Only in these will you find true happiness. 

So, if you follow the gospel, you will be truly happy. I believe that. But just the thought of "Oh, good, I'll be happy," is not very motivating for me to be good. I like concrete blessings. Like, "you'll have a really cute, really sweet, really spiritual, really loving wife." Or "you'll be financially stable." But I don't know if the gospel actually helps with those things.

Well, of course it does! Those blessings flow naturally from living gospel principles to their fullest.

Interesting, also, that I equate happiness and spiritual reward nearly exclusively to finding a girl to marry.

So, let's see if Elder Christofferson has anything to say about what we can get excited about in our attempts to live the gospel.

Repentance---->Enduring Presence of the Holy Ghost
Hard Work----->Sense of Self-Worth, Survive Disappointments and Tragedies 
Leisure---------->Enrich one's life (Music, literature, art, dance, drama, athletics) 
Physical Body->(Free from physical problems, I suppose) 
Service--------->(Satisfaction from the Lord that you were on his errand.) 
Integrity------->(Avoid giving a painful accounting to God in the end)


A consecrated life is a beautiful thing. Its STRENGTH and SERENITY are “as a very fruitful tree which is planted in a goodly land, by a pure stream, that yieldeth much precious fruit” (D&C 97:9)

Look at Stresses, Not Behaviors

Just the other night, somebody I love and am close to was having a bad day. She was stressed and tired and under a lot of deadlines. Some of those in our environment got on her nerves, and she expressed some of her feelings in a manner that was shockingly rude.

But my first thought was not to judge!

My first thought was, "wow, she must really be tired to be acting this way."

Look at stresses, not behaviors. If somebody is behaving inappropriately, it's usually due to stress. Whether this stress was planted right now or long ago, it's still a stress.

As C.S. Lewis pointed out, when we get to heaven, we're going to be shocked to find out how much of our good humor was really due to good digestion and general comfort.

Some people when they're not comfortable turn to drugs. Others turn to comfort food, some to alcohol, others to pornography, some to smoking, some indulge in mean and little behaviors. When our lives are made uncomfortable, it's so much easier to be sin. And it's so easy to judge those whose lives are uncomfortable.

We all make excuses for our own bad behavior. We would do well to make excuses for others bad behavior as well! Don't justify the behavior. But love the person enough to understand that there is a root cause behind this behavior, and it's not that "this person is a complete monster."

Isn't that charity?

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Moroni 7:45

Waiting on the Lord

Oftentimes, we treat the gospel like a machine. Effort in, result out. And since we know that God is required to bless us when we keep his commandments, that's not a bad metaphor.

But this is an incomplete view of the gospel. Oftentimes the blessings that we seek are a long, long time in coming.

For instance, I think of Sheri Dew. If there was ever anybody who deserved a loving, supportive marriage it's probably her. But she never got it. And so, the EFFORT--->BLESSING equation doesn't necessarily work.

Or does it? I submit it does. Read the following:

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.
~~Mosiah 2:41

Holding out faithful to the end is what this life is all about. There is a saying verging on a platitude in the church. "This life is not the reward. This life is the test."

Platitudinous for sure, but completely true!

So, what we need to do is expand the of parameters of our equation.

EFFORT------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->BLESSING

It might take an entire's life worth of waiting! But the Lord keeps his promises. He wants to keep his promises. And so, serve on. Hope on. Continue to show great effort in the Lord for temporary blessings, for your love for him, and especially for the long-term blessing of being received into heaven!

And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.
~~Mosiah 2:22

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
~~Hebrews 12:11



Amen! 

All the good advice

I've been sort of confused lately about dating and relationships. So, I'm going to make a giant spreadsheet of everything the PROPHETS AND APOSTLES have said about selecting a mate. Let it be your guiding star.

What factors should go into selecting a mate?

Elder Henry B. Eyring 

• Earnest searching
• Prayerful consideration 
• Person shares ideals for family 
• Person has a conviction of the Lord's purpose for marriage
• Person is someone you would be willing to trust with your children's happiness
• We should NOT seek for perfection before entering into serious courting or or marriage

Elder Theodore M. Burton 

• A knowledge of what kind of partner they would be 
• Character
• Interests
• Talents
• Abilities 

David O. McKay

• Some qualities of a prophet's wife: 
• Sweetness of disposition 
• Virtue
• Intelligence
• Unselfish Nature
• A reciprocation of affection 
• Her "perfect qualities" won his love
• Possessing one of the truest and purest of souls 
• Someone who inspires you to heroic deeds 

That's all great, but there's literally thousands of girls at BYU who are sweet, virtuous, intelligent, unselfish, and have varied interests, talents, abilities, and etc. Most, if not all, share certain ideas about what a marriage should be. These are instilled regularly in Young Women's quorums and in Sunday School classes. 

The next factor is very inspiring for me, and I like it a great deal. Here are some words of David O. McKay.  

“Do you know that since I truly loved, I can better understand why the gallant knights of old always had a lady love to fight for. The very thought of pleasing her would nerve their arms, steel their swords, and make their courage dauntless. Each one would try to develop the best strength and activity that he could possibly reach that he might be the more worthy of the approbation of his lady."

You see how necessary it is to look for the characteristics of honesty, of loyalty, of chastity, and of reverence. But after having found them—“How, then,” you ask, “may you tell whether or not there is any consanguinity [or close connection], that something which will make you at least congenial in each other’s company?” “

Is there,” you ask, “some guide?” Though love is not always a true guide, especially if that love be not reciprocated or is bestowed upon a surly creature or a brute, yet certainly there is no happiness without love. “Well,” you may ask, “how may I know when I am in love?” 

That is a very important question. … In the presence of the girl you truly love you do not feel to grovel; in her presence you do not attempt to take advantage of her; in her presence you feel that you would like to be everything that a [great man] should become, for she will inspire you to that ideal. And I ask you young women to cherish that same guide. What does he inspire in you … ?

This is the single most important bit of advice I think I can apply. It's more important than long lists of qualities. It's more important than defining so-called "deal breakers." It's the simple thought, "in the presence of this girl, am I willing to put forth great effort to be better than I was, without feeling like I am inadequate or unworthy?" That's the guiding principle. And don't be afraid to wait. Good, good things come to those who wait. 

The Sacrament

I had a fantastic revelation while listening to Elder Bednar's talk Always Retain a Remission of Your Sins. 

Sometimes Latter-day Saints express the wish that they could be baptized again—and thereby become as clean and worthy as the day on which they received their first saving gospel ordinance. May I respectfully suggest that our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son do not intend for us to experience such a feeling of spiritual renewal, refreshment, and restoration just once in our lives. The blessings of obtaining and always retaining a remission of our sins through gospel ordinances help us understand that baptism is a point of departure in our mortal spiritual journey; it is not a destination we should yearn to revisit over and over again.

~David A Bednar

The revelation pertains to the Sacrament. We are taught that the sacrament performs the same function as the baptismal covenant. 

“When we are baptized, we take upon ourselves the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Taking upon us His name is one of the most significant experiences we have in life. … “Each week in sacrament meeting we promise to remember the atoning sacrifice of our Savior as we renew our baptismal covenant. We promise to do as the Savior did—to be obedient to the Father and always keep His commandments. The blessing we receive in return is to always have His Spirit to be with us.”

~Robert D. Hales

When we partake of the sacrament, we are renewing our baptismal covenant. So then why is the sacrament rarely accompanied by as much spiritual joy as the initial baptism? 

I believe it has to do with the amount of repentance involved. Prior to baptism, most people perform an exacting spiritual account of themselves, searching their conduct and behavior for every misplaced thought and deed. They bring them before the Lord with a broken heart and contrite spirit of the sincerest type. Prior to the ordinance, they prepare. 

Rarely do we approach the sacrament with similar gravity. A quick prayer prior to church is a good start but insufficient. If we expect the same sweet outpouring of the spirit and the same burning conviction that our sins are forgiven us, we must prepare with as much fervor as the sincere baptismal candidate. We must truly have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. 

One thought is so important it bears repeating. PRIOR TO THE ORDINANCE, THEY PREPARE. 

This is true not only for the sacrament, but for temple worship, scripture study, nightly prayers, and indeed, any real attempt at bringing heaven's power into our lives. For the Spirit to truly descend and dwell in our hearts, we must not treat these opportunities casually.  

Thomas Paine expressed this truth succinctly. I will quote him, and replace the word "freedom" with the word "forgiveness." 

“What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as [forgiveness] should not be highly rated.” 

So, if you want an inner fire of the spirit to bring you to tears, you must work for it. If you want an absolute assurance of God's love for you, then empty your heart so that He may fill it. No man who has done this has ever said, "it is easy!" But neither has any man so doing ever said, "it was not worth it." 

Ups and Downs and Faith

I've had a FANTASTIC semester, and a few challenges are finally starting to show their heads. As usual, they're tied with dating (Hee hee!) and finances.

I'm not very good at forecasting my finances. I would like to change that.

But anyways! So, here's a study about expecting good things to come, and having faith that things will work out.

Faith: 

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 
~~Hebrews 11:1

Faith is hoping for something you can't see. You want it to be true with all your heart, so you "keep up the good work" as I say, and keep trying even if you're not sure how it's going to work out.

I just need reassurance that my future is going to be as wonderful as I hope it will be. I mean, I've lived 23 out of my 90 years. That's about 20% .

Am I on the right path?
Will XXX want to date me?
How can I save more money?
Wwen will I take the LSAT?
How can I keep up my goodness on a regular basis?
Where will I work over the summer?

How much good can I create, and what sort of rewards do I notice in order to be motivated to continue doing that good?

Jarom: You are focused too much on people's resumes! Find somebody you like, not somebody you approve of!

What is a gospel marriage supposed to look like? And what advice can we seek from God, who is surely as eager to help us in this endeavor as he is in all others??

Gordon B. Hickley, "Make yourself worthy of the loveliest girl in the world. Keep yourself worthy through all the days of your life."

I guess the choice has come to me now. Do I believe in a marriage relationship that can be that amazing? Do I believe in miraculous love stories, where I meet Cinderella, and joy of joys, Cinderella loves me? The course of true love never did run smooth. So be brave! Don't give up! You are a solid, sharp young man. And remember: You are worthy of any girl in the church. The only thing you need to worry about is whether or not the girl likes you. So, make sure she feels special. Which you tried to do last night.

In order to make a girl feel special, I need to be confident myself. Admire her, let her know how much you admire her.

Write BXXX a thank-you card. That's classy.  :)